Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Life Purpose

You may say that the lack of my blog entries reflects my current situation, I'm in a rut!

To try and get me out of this rut I've turned to someone who has helped me in the past, a counsellor who also does hypnotherapy. For those sceptics out there, there are no swinging watches involved and I don't end up dancing like a chicken. Well I don't think I do  . . . . . .


The hypnotherapy is more like meditation while the therapists talks and ask you to explore your thoughts. Anyway, my first session was today and we made some headway into why I'm maybe feeling a little stuck at the moment. One possibility we are exploring is that my focus is only on the day to day tasks I need to get done and no bigger picture or longer term goal. This means that I don't have anything really driving me forward, which is true, I don't really have a long term goal on my mind.

So what do we do to change this? Well at the end of our session I was given some homework and this is where I see myself once again in a rut. To help me out I thought I would turn to you, my friends for inspiration. Put your thinking caps on and get a little philosophical with me.

My homework is to figure out "What is my life purpose?"

A quick response from me was that my current purpose is to look after my kids, seeing I'm a stay at home Mum. But the lovely Claire clarified that being a Mum is my role not my purpose. So it's a big question I'm left with and I have only a week to try and figure it out.

Do you know what your life purpose is and are you willing to share it to help me find mine?

Friday, June 18, 2010

Appreciation over Expectations

I have a new motto in life, care of Rebecca Gibney and her Women's Weekly interview.
Lower your expectations and raise your appreciation
Too often I find myself thinking, if only......... If only we had a little bit more money, if only our house was a big bigger, if only we could fly to Fiji tomorrow!

Of course there's nothing wrong with day dreaming and having aspirations, but while I'm spending my time on wishful thinking I'm missing out. Missing out on what I do have. What I think we tend to forget is that for all those things we're wishing for, someone else in thePublish Post world is wishing for what we have.

So from today I'm going to try my best to love my life as it is and remember just how lucky I am. Although I'm sure  a daydream of lazing on the beach in Fiji might just sneak in here and there!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Great Cookies Make a Great Mum

Last week was my toddler's 3rd birthday, and after I got over the shock that he was turning 3, I needed to make something for him to take to pre-school.

Of course in this day in age, it's not just as easy as cupcakes and toffee like when we had a cake stall at school. Now there are the dreaded allergies to consider. For our kindy it's nuts and eggs. Nuts are pretty easy to avoid, but making a cake that tastes ok, without eggs, not so easy.

So I hit the internet and found a few options but then one of my favourite ingredients and favourite cooks came to my rescue. Condensed milk and Betty Crocker!! Then end result was yummy chewy choc chip cookies with chocolate freckles on top, thanks condensed milk. But it was Betty who made them really special, thanks to a trick I saw on a packet of her very own cookie mix. So the cookies were transformed into cookie lollipops.



Now they might not look super flash in the photo but they were a raging success with both kids and other Mum's! Lots of "wow look at those" and "you'll have to give me the recipe!". Enough to make me blush with pride and to boost the self esteem to the dizzying heights of baking success!!
Today I felt like a great Mum.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Where do you sit on the Totem Pole?









Since becoming a Mum I have discovered there is a family totem pole, and those effected by it's rankings are not just the selfless, do-gooders of the world. I think every Mum suffers from it's ranking powers whether we chose to or not.

Now when I was first pregnant hubby said that he was worried if we had a baby I wouldn't have enough time or love left for him. What every parent tells you is that you just get more love, so there's always plenty to go around to hubby and every extra child that comes into your growing family. What they don't tell you is that there is a totem pole that each addition adds to.

You've probably been on this pole your whole life, but as more and more people get added to it, your rank becomes more and more obvious. For me, and for a lot of my friends who are Mum's this is how the ranking goes, top to bottom......




Kids
Hubby
Parents
Brothers and sisters
Friends
Housework
Me




Now the folks above me can jump up and down the pole depending on circumstances but the one constant is me, right at the bottom. I'm a Mum, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a housewife and somewhere in between, I think, I'm me. Problem is when you're on the bottom, the weight of everyone and everything else can sometimes squash you down making you smaller and smaller.

I would never not want to be the other things, all I wish is that I could strengthen my position on the pole just a little. Fortify my hold . . . . .  on me.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Where is the Mummy Off Switch?

It's 3am in the morning and I've just fed my baby. I make my regular trip to the loo and as I wash my hands make a mental note "need to buy more hand soap". On my way back up the hall I check on my son, pull up his covers and do my usual check of his forehead just in case there is a temperature sneaking up on him. Even as I get back into bed I pull the covers over hubby to make sure he doesn't get cold.

So my question is, where is the Mummy off switch?

Women are always multi taskers but after you have kids you just seem to be "on" 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Always writing those mental lists of what's next, what goes in the school bag tomorrow, what's for dinner, where did I put that??

Where always told to make time for ourselves, soak in a bath, read a book, get our hair done. I do these things, but even then I struggle to stop my Mummy brain working me over. I'm going to be especially brave here and say that even when I'm in the midst of "special time" with Daddy I've had a thought about washing or a job I have to do. Of course only in the early stages and it is most definitely not a reflection on Daddy, it's just this darn Mummy brain of mine.

I think it's almost the opposite of how men can just block everything else out and focus on just one thing, whether it be the job at hand, the footy or a pair of boobs!

I spoke to hubby about this and he says it all ties back to the Cave Man Days. Men just had to go out and hunt but women had to tend to the kids, the animals, the cave and pick the berries. We also decided that men tend to have a natural provide and protect instinct for their family. While us Mum's have the organise, nurture, protect, provide, feed, clothe, bathe, entertain and anything else under the sun "instinct"!

So it is an environmental thing or a biological thing. Do stay at home Dad's get Daddy brain? But again my question is, is there an off switch? 

Monday, April 19, 2010

I've sucked a lot of snot today!

For those of you who've never had a baby with a cold who can't feed because of snot, this sentence probably sounds very strange and totally gross.


snot-boy.jpg


But is has been snot mainly that has kept me away from blogging the past few weeks.

Patient 1 - Toddler
Patient 2- Daddy (the worst patient of all - man flu!!)
Patient 3 - Baby

Check out the very supportive site http://manflu.info/ for tips on how to cope with the dreaded disease.

They didn't all get sick one after the other either, they were like a snowball getting bigger and bigger as it rolls down the hill.

In the midst of that I also had an infection in my stomach. That I could manage, the effects on baby were much harder. Of course seeing my baby girl can't talk yet she couldn't help me narrow down whether her grumpiness and even worse, her refusal of my boobs was linked to the cold or the antibiotics. Or even better still is there another cause of her sudden change of well ............ everything?

I can tell you this, having your baby kick and scream when you're trying to breastfeed her is devastating. It tops any rejection from any past boyfriend, and I've had a few "how will I ever live without him" break ups!

Maybe tomorrow my boobs will be back on the menu.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Looking in the Mirror

Today I was back on cleaning again and as I scrubbed my toilet I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
I thought to myself, this is it, this is my life.......
CleanToilet_full.jpeg

But then I realised that even if I didn't have kids and I still had my office job, I'd still have to clean the toilet! Even worse, I'd have to use my valuable weekend time to do it. Plus this is the life I chose and in between all the toilet cleaning there are amazing moments that I would never get in any office.

At least in my "office" I can knock off early when I want to and really I can just not bother to clean the toilet if my day is going that badly. I'm lucky I'm such a good boss!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

From Martha Stewart to Bill Murray

I hear you say, what the??

I'm talking about the endless cycle of ups and downs of being a stay at home mum.


Two days ago - I pureed my own fruit for my baby, very Martha Stewart, especially for me. Don't think I'm too wonderful though. My departure from my good friends Heinz is mainly driven by financial constraints.
93246__martha_l

Today - Groundhog Day, hence the Bill Murray reference. The washing is my most tormenting roundabout that I just can't get off. No sooner have you sorted and soaked and sprayed and scrubbed and then washed it, then it's time to hang it all out. Of course then it's time to fold it all and then find a spot for it to live before someone can poo, spew or spill on it again!

Then BBBBUUUUZZZZZZZZZ the Groundhog Day alarm goes off and it all starts again, sort, soak, scrub, blah, blah, blah.

BillMurrayGroundhog.jpg


This phenomenon isn't just limited to the washing either, Bill Murray also plays the lead in my world of feeding the kids, changing the kids, negotiating with the kids and of course trying to get them to sleep when you want them to!

It seems I'm at the bottom of my 6 week cycle, when I just can't face it all over again. A cup of tea, some chocolate and an hour or so of trashy TV should get me back on course.

That is of course, until another 6 weeks has passed, BBBBUUUUZZZZZZZ!!! 

Friday, March 19, 2010

Pesty pests!

Living in Sydney I've accepted that there will be cockroaches, and larger than large ones at that, but the pest level in our house has just hit crazy status I think!

First there was a cockroach when we had our mothers group here. God knows what the other mum's thought! Anyway I tried to catch it quietly but it disappeared under the TV unit so I thought it was gone for now and I could wrangle hubby into catching it later. Obviously the cockroach had different ideas!! To cut a long story short, it ended up with 3 of my Mum friends chasing this nasty beast all around the lounge room as it jumped in nappy bags, crawled under children and flew at the toy box. Thank God someone finally got it. I was devastatingly embarrassed but also amazed at the worlds fastest cockroach!

As if that was bad enough......

That same night, after all the kids were asleep and I just sat on the lounge ready to veg out in front of bad TV, I hear, scratch, scratch, scratch from above my head. I must admit I'd heard this noise before and assumed it was a possum or the neighbours cat on our roof. For some reason tonight though I actually look up, where we have stained glass panels that are like skylights. There with it's long whiskers and beady little eyes...... A RAT!! Staring down at me like "Hey lady, what the hell are you doing in my place!"

AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Dirty, dirty RAT!

'What a lot of fuss, fancy being afraid of an 'itsy-bitsy' little mouse like this!' by Waters, GrahamI did my best to convince my husband to get up there with a shovel and WHACK it with a shovel but he wasn't quite up to the challenge apparently. Of course there's not actually enough room to swing a shovel, but I was desperate.


I'm very pleased to report though that in the days since, hubby has put Ratsak in the roof and the scratching has ended. However, after the scratching came the smell. The smell I could live with though because when we lifted up the skylight there was my little housemate, Rodney the Rat, dead as doornail, VICTORY!! Now the smell AND the rat are gone and it's back to just me and the cockies.

Aah the serenity.........

Friday, March 12, 2010

The Emergence of the Daytime Dad

Of course there has always been stay at home Dad's and I have seen them out and about before, but all of a sudden there are more and more of them. Is it the economic climate or are guys just feeling more comfortable in taking on the role of the primary carer?

This week my Daytime Daddyometer was running hot!

Tuesday - At least 10 Dad's with kids at swimming lessons if not more

Wednesday - doing my weekly shops at every shop I saw 2 or 3 Dad's with a trolley load of kids and groceries

Thursday - driving home from the shops I saw 8 Dad's pushing prams in the 10 minute drive home!

And they kept on popping up everywhere! These were not Dad's in suits or in their work gear at lunch, these were obviously stay at home Daytime Daddy's or maybe Dad's on their day off.

It's actually happening right inside my own little house too.
My Hubby was retrenched on his first day back from paternity leave after the birth of Baby 0.6, great timing huh?! 
Anyway he is now working from home trying to kick start his own business. It is tough financially, but on the other hand it is brilliant having him home as a help some times. More than that it is excellent for him to spend the extra time with both kids, not to mention get a glimpse into the ever "thrilling" day to day life of a stay at home Mum.

So I'm glad to see these extra Dad's and hope it means they are getting the quality time with their kids. Hopefully they're not struggling too much if it's a result of being retrenched or something else just as tough. It might be time to start a Dad's group in our area I think.

Are you seeing these Daytime Dad's popping up more and more in your area? Or is your husband being a Daytime Dad? Tell us your story? Does it work for you?

Monday, March 8, 2010

Super Mum - NOT NORMAL!!!


So whilst browsing through the internet, looking for websites that offer advice from other mums, I found "Beyond the Baby". It's quite a beautiful site although a lot of the links have no information in them - Toddlers, Little Children.

I did however stumble upon the little gem below..... Now be warned if you are a mum like me, who just does what needs to be done to get through the day and maybe gets to vacuum under the lounge once or twice a year, be prepared. This woman calls herself "Super Organiser Mum" and they may just be an understatement. You only need to look at the photos and read a few lines here and there to get the idea!


I mean no disrespect to her and if I'm honest I'm probably a little jealous of her life, but the level of perfection is ridiculous. The scrapbooking ok, she has the time obviously but scroll down to see her FAQ's on laundry!! She includes photos of her laundry and well, I think she lives in a display home, OR has a housekeeper. It gets better when she shows you a picture of the meal she made for another family, tagged with a beautifully hand made card and ribbon. Super Organiser Mum is going to do this once a month, BLESS!!

I'm sorry, but this woman is the reason people have such high expectations of mothers and why the "normal" Mum's like me feel like failures half of the time.


From me to my kids - I'm sorry I didn't scrapbook all your artwork but I kept them on the wall for months and only took them down when the Blu-Tac wore off.

From me to my friends and family - I'm sorry I don't cook meals for you and hand deliver them with sweet little notes, but beans on toast just doesn't travel well.

And well about my laundry....... here it is. I just haven't quite got around to labeling everything.

Boob Denial

My boobs have been an asset to me for a long time now. I think it started back at Uni when I discovered what power my natural gift and a good push up bra could achieve. Aaah the countless free drinks the girls got me back at the Powerhouse night club!

This week however they have failed me and I'm feeling very dejected. They have lost their appeal to one person who has had more affection for them than even my husband, Baby 0.6.

You Mean Those Boobs Are For MeI know babies become more efficient at feeding and get faster but all of a sudden I'm lucky if my baby girl feeds for 4 minutes each side. This started quite suddenly and happens even for her first feed of the day when she should be starving. She has a last feed about 7.30pm and then feeds again anytime from 4am to 7am. So even after 9 or so hours without a feed she's on then off.

Part of it I know is distraction, Baby 0.6 can't dare miss a second of any sort of excitement and by her definition a shadow moving is worth front row seats! She doesn't seem hungry either but after losing my milk at 4 months with Toddler 2.10 my anxiety levels with milk supply are pretty high. She is eating 2 meals of solids a day and her weight seems ok, so am I just freaking myself out?

Maybe if I pull out one of my old push up bras again she might find them more appealing?!
Have you experienced the same? Do you have any tips? 


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Ironing out the creases

So this morning at 9am I was ironing. I DON'T IRON.

I actually go out of my way to buy clothes that don't require ironing, but this morning, mother guilt and peer pressure got the best of me.

I had washed Toddler 2.9's sheets for kindy and after sharing the clothes dryer with too many items, they were more than crinkled. Now at home I would think "Hey! they'll flatten out after we sleep on them for a few days!".

But this morning the little voice creeped into my head. "What will the other Mum's and teachers think if I send my son to kindy with wrinkled sheets? They'll think I'm a terrible mother!!" The truth is no-one would even really see the sheets and they would have plenty of their own little voices running around in their head and toddlers pulling on their skirts to even notice.

What do we do to ourselves?! Talk about self inflicted suffering. Does this happen to us after childbirth? Is it really Syntocin they put in that drip or is it mothers guilt?

Even as I was standing there ironing I knew I was being ridiculous but I still did it. Will I be able to stop myself next time or will my little voice shout out again?

What totally unnecessary things have you done in the past to stave off the Mothers Guilt?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Can I lose it?

I'm not talking about losing my mind here, that happens to me at least once a week or after a few too many sleepless nights. You can usually tell when I'm still in my pyjamas at 11am or the kids are eating baked beans on toast for dinner!

What I'm working to lose at the moment is the dreaded weight left over from having a baby. Although if I'm 100% honest it's actually weight from before Baby 0.5 and quite possibly from my addiction to all things sweet.

Breastfeeding Benefits
I'm currently riding that wonderful wave of steady weight linked to still breastfeeding and so I can eat a lot of things I shouldn't without paying too a high a price for it. But thanks to baby 0.5 starting to sleep through and a very noticeable change in my hormones, I think maybe things might be about to change.

I paid the price last time when my chocolate addiction continued well after breastfeeding finished and my weight went up and up. So this time I would like to avoid the same thing but that's easier said then done.

The Family Challenge
My husband, Dad and Father in-law have all joined a challenge with me to lose 4 kgs by Easter, which is a reasonable quest but still I am failing and I can tell you exactly why....... I'm eating way too much and not doing ANY exercise. So what am I whingeing about, all I need to do is get off my butt and try!

As straight forward as it all sounds I still struggle every day to find the motivation, after all, looking after two young kids is tough, don't I deserve a cup of tea and a choccie biscuit?

Today though I'll say, that's enough, toughen up and put the biscuit down!

So, 5 weeks and 4 kgs to go. All I have to do is get through my birthday and chocolate cake on Friday..........

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Baby 0.5 - The Nappy Test

In these tough economical times I've strayed from the ever reliable Huggies to test out some cheaper brands. Not that I'm a nappy snob but in the past they have been the one brand that has survived anything an explosive babies bum can throw at them!

So this time around I went with Babylove, the brand that has even been advertising the Poo Poo Pouch to catch even the nastiest of poos.

http://www.babyloveclub.com.au/?Poopoopouch

Well here is my unofficial review.

It's been 4 days so far and I must report that the Babylove's did not live up to even a wee let alone an explosive pumpkin fuelled diarrhoea!

Day 2 hubby had Baby 0.5 laying on his lap and all of a sudden had a warm sensation on his leg........ say no more.

Day 4 today and my poor unsuspecting brother looked down whilst cuddling Baby 0.5. We were outside having a BBQ and he thought he spotted a stray spot of dip on his leg and then on his shirt .......... well it WAS pumpkin but not the type mixed with pine nuts that goes with a nice cracker! Thank god he didn't lick it to see what it was!!

Now my brother gags at the smell, sight and even thought of baby poo so to find himself wearing it was very unsettling for him. It was of course hilarious for us as he stood frozen with fear trying not to gag and holding our poor baby girl out at arms length as he begged us to rescue him.

So from the men in our family it's a big FAIL for the Babylove nappies. Time to go back to the Huggies!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Technorati Claim

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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Toddler 2.9 - The final stages of toilet training

Toilet training, one of the longest and toughest stages I think we have had to go through with our little boy.

So far:

Step 1 - Using the potty ✓

Step 2 - No nappies during the day ✓

Step 3 - Using the toilet ✓

Step 4 - No nappies at night ✓

However there is another step but I'm not sure if it's really Step 5 or if we've missed it along the way.

Step 5 - Knowing when you need to go to the toilet without being told

So after washing endless amounts of mini undies we decided to try and encourage Toddler 2.9 to use the toilet on his own without us prompting him. In the past stickers have worked so we went down the well trodden path. Toddler 2.9 and I drew a lovely picture of a pond with our crayons and for that pond we have lots of frog stickers to put on it each time undies are dry.

Our Busy Little Pond


Day 1 - Wet undies 4 v Frog stickers 1
(hmmm maybe stickers just aren't enough this time?)

Day 2 - Wet undies 2 v Frog stickers 5
(still lots of prompting by us but a few "Mummy I need a wee" moments).

So my washing load so far is decreasing slightly but I'm not sure if I'm really teaching Toddler 2.9 how to know when it's time to go to the toilet. I've explained he might feel it in his tummy or his doodle (he often grabs himself just before he does a wee) but is he really getting it?

It has at least given us Toddler Gold moment when this morning I asked if his undies were wet or dry and Toddler 2.9 responded "they were dry as a bone Mummy!" (Courtesy of his visiting country grandma!).

Will the frogs win over the wet undies? Any other ideas how I can do it?

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

From Boobs to Baldness

There are plenty of books on pregnancy and babies too but once again there are little secrets I think they keep so we still have babies. During my last pregnancy I managed to tick a lot of those boxes and now 5 months since our beautiful baby arrived I'm still finding more fun things to make life interesting.

Here's just a sample of my checklist, how does yours compare?

Pregnancy - diabetes (no chocolate!), pubic symphsitis (crippling pain every time you walk), back ache, iron deficiency (even more tiredness), swollen ankles, endless peeing, inability to sleep, severe reflux and heartburn, restless legs, braxton hicks contractions for 2 weeks, heart palpitations and of course explosive boobs (I'm talking 16DD and not in a good way).

Post baby - pelvic infection (leftover placenta in my uterus), blocked milk ducts (ouch, ouch, ouch!), leaky boobs, the worlds weakest pelvic floor, second degree tearing and the stitches to show for it, more sleep deprivation, insatiable chocolate cravings (ok that I can handle), back ache from pacing the floor with a crying baby and just this week my hair  has started falling out in big chunks, and more hormone changes are giving me oily skin and hair - love it!

Of course it all adds to the wonder that is mother nature and it is probably a miracle we even survive childbirth. Even with all of this excitement there's one last little trick that is played on all of us, hormones! These are special hormones that make all the bad stuff just fuzzy enough in our memories so that we'll be brave enough to go through it all again and again.

After the tough time I've had, even I have already had more than one thought about baby number 3.
I know I'm crazy and it's definitely not time yet, but compared to my list above there are countless pluses to having kids. Here's two big reasons below.



What was the toughest thing you went through with your pregnancies or early days with bub?


Thursday, February 4, 2010

World Worst Mum???

We all have our fair share of mothers guilt at the best of times. Then there's always something in the news telling us something else we're doing wrong to scar our kids for life. I'm just waiting for a study that shows watching the Wiggles will turn your children gay!

Based on all of this criteria I quite often fall into the category of what they call a "bad Mum". Of course in reality I'm just like most other Mum's and doing the best job I know how. And whether my kids grow up wearing multi-coloured skivvies or even gay, they will know I love them no matter what.

But finally there is a time when I do actually agree with a media label of Worlds Worst Mum. You know who she is, the woman who got her 5 year old drunk enough to blow 0.09!!!

http://www.news.com.au/national/victorian-mum-gets-son-5-totally-drunk/story-e6frfkvr-1225826103320

What the?? I know being a parent is tough and confusing but come one lets get back to basics.

Rule 1: Don't let your kids play with knives or matches

Rule 2: Only give your kids milk to drink, not White Russians!!!

Probably an equal offender though is the judge who gave her a suspended sentence, even though she had been in court before. Should the kids be taken away or are they really better off being with their Mum?
(The mother) told police she "just wanted to have a drink with her son because he likes his alcohol"
I would hate to see any kid get put into the red tape of foster homes but where do you draw the line? Lets hope next time it's not more alcohol, or god forbid more serious drugs and of course that's if anyone even knows about it!!

What do you think should happen?

Friday, January 29, 2010

I need more Mums in my life!!

Now I never would have thought I would be saying I need more people and more commitments in my life. I already struggle to see the friends I have and do what I need done, done. Not that I'm the worlds most popular person who has so many friends I can't keep up. It's just between the kids, the house, the hubby, the poo and the spew clean ups, I don't have a lot of spare time flying around.

I suppose what I'm after though is quality not quantity. Having just had bub number 2, so I'm an old pro, I wasn't offered the option of joining a mothers group. I avoided it partly because of the feeling of guilt of turning on my current group but I hear the same story from them. To be honest I didn't think I needed it or that I had time to fit it in to my life. WRONG!!

Now if you bought one car, say a Porsche (yeah I'm dreaming here) and then 2 years later you bought another one, you could expect that they would be pretty similar and you wouldn't have to read the manual again. In fact you might even get lucky and the second model might be even better than the first! I suppose looking back maybe I was a little delusional in thinking that kids might be a little like Porsches. Saying it out loud definitely makes it sound crazy. I really thought that baby number 2 would be pretty similar to the first one, of course just with a different personality, again, WRONG!

cartoon.jpg
Not only is baby 2 completely different, with all the lack of sleep and the 2 years that has passed, I can barely remember any of the milestones from the first time around. So I am pining for another Mothers Group, more Mum's who are at the same stage as me with their babies who I can compare notes with. Is it normal for my baby's poo to be this colour? Am I the only Mum who hasn't slept for 4 months?

With all the support, books, and advice out there, there is still only one true fountain of knowledge that can keep you sane and that is other Mum's. So if you're a Mum with a 4 and a half month old baby, and even better, a toddler as well. Share your woes and wonders with me, PLEASE!!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Not Naughty Naughty Step

I think maybe I need to stop watching the news and reading the papers. Yet again there is another "study" and lots of "good advice" from the professionals. This time the latest and greatest concept in perfect parenting is that the Naughty Step shouldn't be called the Naughty Step!! Reason being that naming it that apparently shames and humiliates our children.......... You can't get around it by calling it a Naughty spot either, it doesn't matter where in the house it is, it just can't be called Naughty.

So for the sake of this discussion lets call it the Somewhere to Go When You're Not Listening to Mummy Step. I must admit I'm not a huge user of the Not to be Mentioned Step but I do use time outs in the exact same fashion. My aim is not to shame or humiliate my son but it's definitely to let him know he's misbehaving, OR being naughty!! Then the experts chime in again and say you shouldn't even call your child naughty, even if they have bitten the nose of another child or smeared poo from one side of their room to the other, naughty is not to be even whispered. We are however allowed to say that it is "naughty behaviour" as this will not harm or scar our children for life.

Maybe it's just me being a bad mother, again, but aren't we really splitting hairs. I'm sure we were all told we were naughty plenty of times and punished in some way or the other and hey look at us! Well maybe we're not all the best examples, but I definitely grew up knowing what was right and wrong and that there were consequences of doing the latter. Of all the things my parents did to me the worst was making me watch H.R. Puff N Stuff, which scared the life out of me and gave me a recurring nightmare that I even have sometimes now! My poor mother never knew and bears the guilt of that one today, but I've managed to avoid therapy over it and we laugh about it now.

Of course I'm not saying there aren't things to learn since we were kids and since the days when the kids got sent out to collect Mammoth teeth as punishment we have definitely fine tuned the act of parenting. BUT some things are used by alot of us because THEY WORK!! I just hope my kids don't grow up to tell me that watching the Wiggles gave them a fear of skivvies or big red cars.

So in my very own study, conducted in my little home of toddler 2.5 and baby 4 months, I have come up with some results too. I will happily publish them here for you to read, laugh at, ignore or even tsk at me over. When my child is "naughty" they know it and there are consequences for that behaviour. Of course being a toddler the lessons are not always learnt so quickly but he gets that there are rules and if you don't play by them, you miss out on things, like toys, playing or your favourite DVD, quite often by having a time out.

On the flip side my biggest and most obvious finding is that when kids are good and they are given praise for it they keep being good. This lesson is learnt a lot quicker by even my cheeky toddler and so in our day there is a lot more positive recognition than time outs. So for the 2 minutes here or there where he doesn't get to play and the other 10 or so hours in the day when he does, I think he'll turn out just fine and maybe even with fond memories of playing with his Mum and Dad.

But I bet you don't see the results of my study saying that loving your kids makes them grow up fairly happy and well adjusted in any news reel, or morning show anytime soon.

Let me know how you're parents scarred you or what tricks you have in taming your own toddler or kids.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Desperate Housewives serve up some home truths about Motherhood!!

It's worth watching the short ad at the start to see this one.




Friday, January 8, 2010

Your Breast Friend!

So the latest story for us to think about today is some Norwegian study has decided that formula is just as good as breast milk. A far cry from the ever popular saying "Breast is best!".

http://www.nursingtimes.net/nursing-practice-clinical-research/clinical-subjects/midwifery/baby-formula-as-good-as-breast-milk-claims-study/5010121.article

Breastfeeding -
Now I am in the midst of breastfeeding my 3 month old girl, my second baby, and I must admit I am feeling a huge pull towards the temptation of formula. Far from convince me that this was ok and I should go ahead and ween, this story actually put me back on the breast feeding band wagon. It wasn't the study but a doctor commenting on the findings who reminded me of a great benefit of breast feeding, the weight loss! Having just made my New Years resolution to lose 4kgs by Good Friday I can do with all the help I can get.

I have to be honest though and admit that the second time around I have considered the formula option so much sooner. For my first baby I loved breast feeding and I loved the time it gave me with my baby and the fact only I could do it. This time with a toddler to manage the feeding experience is much more chaotic at times and sometimes becomes yet another task I have to try and get done. If I could give bub a bottle and someone else could do it, wow what freedom I would have and how much easier it would be to do what I need to do.

Now don't get me wrong, when I say freedom, I don't mean freedom to go out partying or shopping or drinking, I mean freedom to do my housework or go grocery shopping or put my toddler on the toilet. Not to mention my boobs might come back from down around my knees to a little closer to where they started from!


I wouldn't say I feel guilty about these feelings but I do feel disappointed that I have them so early. With my first bub my milk ran out at 4 months and I was devastated. It's such a different experience and I didn't expect it to be this way.

Just the past few weeks we're used a few bottles of formula because we were worried bub wasn't getting enough due to sudden night waking and my inability to express much more than a shooter of milk! Thankfully after the craziness of Christmas and lots of change all has settled down and we are back to boob only.

For now though, not matter what any study or expert says I'm going to do my best to stick to Mother Nature and keep up the breast feeding for as long as I can. If there is a benefit then my baby will get it and it might just help me hit my weight loss goal too. Maybe just maybe I might even make the most of both worlds and sneak in the odd bottle of formula here and there to get just a little piece of freedom.

Most importantly I'm going to do what works for me and my family and do my best to ignore anyone else who thinks they have some important opinions on our choices.